Are you playing third wheel every weekend? Suddenly it seems like everyone in the universe has paired off, and you’re the one person doomed to walk the earth alone. We’ve all been there. We all know the frustration of losing friends to the thrill of new romance and the even greater frustration of joining snuggly, coupley friends for a night out when you’re left with no one to hold but yourself. These can be dark, dark days if you let them. So don’t let them.
The grass really is greener on the other side. While your friends probably wouldn’t trade their sweethearts for anything, you can bet they still glance at you from time to time through envious eyes. The single life comes with its perks, and though you may feel ready to experience the perks on the other side of the hill, don’t forget to enjoy your life while you’re free. Here are a few things you’ll miss when you’re tied down later.
You answer only to yourself. If you decide to take a spur-of-the-moment trip to Vegas, no one will interfere. If you really want to splurge on that plasma TV, it will be no one’s business but yours. Live the freedom while you have it.
You have time to set up your life. Things like career and identity take time. In the early days, especially, building a career will demand long hours and late nights . . . which you can do guilt-free when no one’s waiting at home for you. Embrace this time as an opportunity to get your ducks in a row. When the right person comes along, you won’t be scrambling to balance the demands of a serious relationship with the rest of your life.
You have the fun of dating. It’s getting old you say? Yeah, I get that. But think of the new things you’re trying, the new people you’re meeting, the new stories you have to tell. Chances are, a few of your coupled friends live vicariously through your stories. It’s not that they’d trade their significant other to date a bunch of random crazies, but there is something to be said for the thrill of the hunt . . . and the thrill of variety.
You know your own strength. It is very important for an individual to go through a period of singleness. When people bounce from relationship to relationship, they get in the habit of believing that they need the support of a significant other in order to live a fulfilling life. This time of singleness is your opportunity to develop and celebrate your independence. Then, when the right person comes along, you’ll be a solid companion who compliments them, rather than a dependant companion who needs them.
The dating world is your oyster. Next time you browse through matches on a dating site or scan the faces in a crowd, remember that any one of these people—any one in the world—could be the one you’re looking for. Your future mate is faceless form, waiting to take shape through the choices you make and the people you date. While your friends are fortunate to have found what they were looking for, they’ve lost the fun of anticipation. You’ve still got it.
It’s a big world, my friend, and for a single person, the possibilities are endless. Count yourself among the lucky ones.
Hi Abi, thanks a lot. Found this very encouraging.
Was a gud reminder of the same things I’ve been teelling myself.
Am enjoying every moment of my single life while also looking forward to beibg hitched
Hi oluwaseun ola! I’m glad you found some encouragement in this post! The single life has it’s rough days here and there, but so does the non-single life. I’m glad you’re choosing to embrace the life you’re living!