At around the five date or one month mark (whichever comes first), you’ll probably start asking yourself if the guy you’ve been seeing is boyfriend material. You probably haven’t yet discussed your official status as a couple, but the conversation isn’t far from your mind, either. But how do you really know if he’s boyfriend material – beyond the exciting bits and pieces that you’re feeling as you get to know the guy?
The secret to figuring out if he’s boyfriend material isn’t to follow your gut however – because our emotions often cloud things. No, the answer is to read through a carefully created list of criteria that makes you want to ask more questions and get to know him better, to decide if he’s someone you want to enter into a relationship with. What questions, you ask? Why these ones right here:
Does he make and keep plans with you on a regular basis?
In this day and age there’s nothing wrong with a woman making and planning dates, but there should still be a give and take to the process as well. Does he wait for you to make plans, or does he contact you just as much as you contact him to find out when the two of you can see each other again? Does try to get a hold of you when he knows you’ll be around, or does he just leave a message and leave the ball in your court? If you can, sit back for a day or two and see if he’s initiating contact with you – because that’s one of the easiest ways to determine if he’s into you, and if he’s boyfriend material.
Does he make low risk promises to you and keep them?
Low risk promises are the kinds of things that you would offer to someone you know only casually. These are the kinds of things that won’t get you into trouble, won’t offend anyone, and won’t share so much with a stranger that they would be uncomfortable. Some examples are when he says he’ll bring a book the next time you see each other to lend to you, or that he does the agreed-upon punishment of the dishes when he loses to you at poker. Whatever the promises are, by this stage he should be making itsy bitsy promises by now, and he shows consistency in following through with them.
Do you know anything about his past relationships?
You probably don’t want to know too much about his ex(s) on the first or second date, but by the fifth date you should have a pretty good idea about his dating history. Has he ever had a long term relationship? Is he still carrying a torch for anyone? Does he only date women for a few months before moving on to another? How does he refer to the women he’s dated in the past? Is he currently dating anyone else? The answers to these questions will tell you a lot about what he’s able to give you, and from that you can determine if that’s something that works for you.
