Its a tricky question, asking what the qualities are that make someone a good date. If you were to ask a single new to the dating scene what kind of person makes a good date, they might answer:
- Someone with a sense of humor;
- Being hot;
- A person who doesn’t smoke or drink;
- A guy with a hot car or a good paying job;
- No one who is shorter than me;
- Girls who aren’t stuck up;
- Anyone who is popular.
The problem with these ‘good date’ markers is that they are all ego-based, in that they are shallow in their requirements and focus mostly on how society views a person. Some singles even go so far as to define their own self-worth by who they have on their arm. Understandable, but none of these things are required for someone to be defined as a ‘good date’.
Now, almost everyone will choose style over substance at some point in time or another. Its natural, its normal, and for some folks, a deal breaker. But that doesn’t mean that those same criteria are what you need to use to determine if someone is dateable or not – including yourself.
There are only four criteria when it comes down to being a good date, and they are applicable across the board no matter your age, gender, sexuality, or dating experience. They are:
- Integrity: The strength or ability to resist tempting situations, people or things;
- Reliability: Whether or not someone is able to honor their word;
- Honesty: If your date can be trusted, truthful and sincere; and
- Loyalty: The courage to stand next to someone who is asking or help or in crisis, and still stand by their side.
Interestingly, these four characteristics are also what many singles and couples would require in a friend. Yet I’m always amazed at the number of people in my date coaching practice that tell me they’d never be friends with the person they are dating, yet they continue to move forward with that person. How can we be a good date ourselves, if we can’t recognize what a good date is? And how can someone date another person that they don’t have a strong foundation of friendship with?
With that in mind, take a look at the list of four qualities above. Are they are all qualities you want in a partner? Do you have any more you’d like to add? Do you feel I’ve missed a good date marker that needs to be on the list? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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