There’s a reason why you don’t go after certain “types.” You know who you are, you know what your interests are, and you know what type of people you like to be around. It’s hard to imagine finding happiness with a sports junkie if you can’t stand ESPN on your TV. Nevertheless, it’s not a bad idea to occasionally expand your dating circle to include those who don’t seem to fit into your normal guidelines. You never know what you may find.
1. You may find that your “type” needs to be redefined.
Sometimes we cling so tightly to what we understand that we forget the fun of branching out and experiencing something new. Or sometimes we focus on things that are obviously interesting—like a firefighting career or a lifetime spent traveling the world—that we forget to consider that interesting minds come in all sorts of lifestyles. The point is, the things that really matter to you—the values and personality traits you seek in a mate—might be just as common in a business person as they are in a sculptor. Learning something like this will only widen your chances for finding something real.
2. You’ll experience something new.
So you didn’t find true love with Mr. or Ms. “Not My Type.” Chances are, you at least got to peer in on another world for a minute. You may not feel the need to ever attend another Slip Knot concert, but at least now you can say you did.
3. You’ll have a story to tell.
Even if your foray into unknown territory is a complete disaster, at least you’ve earned one reward that will last you for years: you now have a great story to tell. Everyone loves a good bad date story. And since your friends are probably a lot like you, you can probably expect their complete and total empathy when you tell them about your date’s atrocious habits.
4. You may gain a friend.
Look around at the buddies you have now. You no doubt have a pretty awesome posse. Even so, you probably wouldn’t date most of them even if they were the right sex. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with them, per se. They’re hilarious and you know they’ve always got your back. But Kevin is way too uptight to ever live with, and Jessica tends to be flakey. When you date outside your type, you may find that you’re exactly right . . . you really can’t be with someone that frugal. But you may still find that you’ve found someone cool to hang out with more casually.
5. You may get a chance to play matchmaker.
One person’s crazy date is another person’s love connection. Even if your date turns out to be a total dud as far as you’re concerned, you may find yourself thinking, “Now he is totally Kara’s type.” Cool. As long as you’re pretty sure your date is having trouble warming up to you, too, there’s no reason you can’t make a recommendation. Just be very careful how and when you do it. If your date is in to you, suggesting he or she get to know your friend would be a tremendous blow to the ego.
6. You may find love.
Crazier things have happened. They say “love is where you least expect it,” don’t they? And as much as I cringe at that phrase, it is often very true.
There is a lot to be said for knowing your type. There’s no sense in dating everyone you meet just in case they happen to be the one. But do let yourself venture beyond your comfort zone from time to time. There’s a lot of potential to gain, and even if you lose an evening to a date that doesn’t thrill you, you at least have the experience of trying something new.
So go ahead. Respond to that emo dude who wrote to you for some reason after viewing your Suzy Sunshine profile. Maybe . . . just maybe . . . he’s exactly what you didn’t know you were looking for.
